The Magic of Stepping Back

🌟Weekly Inspiration🌟

Hope that all are settling into the back-to-school rhythms.  Fall is in the air! I am going to experiment with something new for the Lighter Touch with Leah newsletter each week 💡. Each month, I am going to focus on a theme, considering different aspects on the theme each week. September’s theme is Independence.

I’ve been thinking a lot about youth and parental anxiety; it is the bread and butter of what we work with in our community. Too many feel worried, stressed, and anxious; some are real challenges that merit some stress and anxiety; some fears and anxieties trouble us, but are not that likely to occur, or we are simply more anxious than we need to be about it. I’ve been considering the Let Grow movement (https://letgrow.org/) and ways to increase Independence with my own children and for those in our practice. The Let Grow movement’s motto is “When Parents Step Back, Kids Step Up.” This rings true to me.

This summer, my husband and I took a counter-culture approach to our family vacation. I wasn’t even aware of the Let Grow movement at that time, but I was longing to give my kids a taste of something different. I studied abroad for a year at 19 years old and it had a profound impact on me, I loved the independence and developed such a confidence in my own ability to navigate the world.  Our kids are 20, 18, and 16, an oldest daughter and then two younger sons. We wanted to do a family trip to Europe…and we allowed our children to do an eight day “sibling trip” through hostels in Spain. My husband and I had our own lovely trip in the South of France. Then we came together for a few days of family time. 

The kids had to navigate planes, trains, hostels, air sickness, jet lag, heat, sightseeing, using their Spanish, and topless beaches (!) without us. They did great ❤️. They had to step up, when we stepped back. They had fun, got closer, and rose to the occasion. It was nice for my husband and I to have couple time as well. It was a big experiment and we took a risk and when we told people what we were doing, some felt we were crazy! Fortunately, it all worked out. We were privileged to do this special trip, but the concepts of Independence can be replicated in lots of small ways as well.

Ask Yourself:

Was I an independent child?
Did my parents encourage independence or dependence on them?
Do I encourage my children to assert themselves and be independent?
How high is my tolerance for mild misbehavior in my children?
Am I controlling? Am I under the illusion that I can continue to control them as they get older?
What is my underlying fear of stepping back and allowing them to step up?
Is it possible to allow independence in some ways and restrict or slow independence in other ways?

Be well!