3 Evidence-Based Ways to Support Your Child with ADHD
Learning that your child has ADHD can bring a mix of emotions: relief, uncertainty, curiosity. You may wonder what ADHD actually is, how it will affect your child, and what you can do to help them thrive.
Luckily, our understanding of Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) has come a long way over the years. We now know that ADHD is not simply about being "hyper" or "distracted." It is a neurotype that affects how the brain manages attention, organization, emotions, and self-control. Research in the area of ADHD has boomed, along with ways to support children at home and school to help them build confidence, develop lifelong skills, and thrive.
So where to begin? Here are three impactful ways parents can support a child with ADHD:
#1 Understand Executive Functioning
ADHD affects the brain’s prefrontal cortex, the area responsible for the brain’s self-management skills or “executive functions”. These skills help us plan, organize, remember information, regulate emotions, and complete everyday tasks. Key executive functions include:
Working memory
Time management
Planning and organizing
Inhibitory control (impulse control)
Task initiation
Emotional regulation
These executive functioning abilities continue developing throughout childhood and adolescence, and typically fully mature around mid-twenties. Research suggests that children with ADHD often experience a developmental delay of approximately 30–40% in executive functioning compared to their peers.
This means your child may have full intentions and goals to complete tasks at hand, but struggle to accomplish them consistently. You may also notice your child is seemingly able to do something with ease one day, and greatly struggle with the same task the next day.
Challenges with executive function may look like:
Completing homework but forgetting to turn it in
Procrastinating on seemingly simple tasks
Having difficulty following morning or bedtime routines
Frequently losing important items
Acting impulsively without intending to
Becoming emotionally overwhelmed more quickly than peers
It is helpful and necessary to view these behaviors through the lens of executive functioning, rather than assuming a lack of motivation or even “laziness”. Many kids are working incredibly hard throughout the day to keep up with academic, social, and emotional demands. You might notice that holding it together at school can even lead to exhaustion and emotional crashes at home.
Understanding these challenges can allow parents to lead with compassion and skill-building for their child.
#2 Advocate for needs to be met at school
Because ADHD affects attention, organization, working memory, and task completion, it can significantly impact academic performance.
Children with untreated ADHD are significantly more likely to struggle in school than their peers. In addition, about 30-50% of children with ADHD also have a specific learning disorder impacting academic functioning (such as dyslexia, dyscalculia, or written expression disorder). (Source: https://ldaamerica.org/disabilities/adhd/)
Parents can play a critical role in advocating for the right educational support.
If your child’s ability to access their education is interfered by ADHD, you can talk to their school about whether your child may qualify for:
A 504 Plan, which provides classroom accommodations (i.e., extended test-taking time, preferential seating, movement breaks, etc.)
An Individualized Education Program (IEP), which offers specialized instruction and services when appropriate, in addition to classroom accommodations
Public schools are required under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) and Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act to provide eligible students with appropriate accommodations and services. Your child deserves the support!
It is important to note that ADHD does not indicate lower intelligence. In fact, many ADHDers also qualify as “gifted” or “twice-exceptional” and demonstrate higher intellectual ability than their peers. These students may still struggle with executive functioning but be missed for needed support due to their ability to “slide by”. ADHD presents in many different ways, but students can always benefit from advocacy.
#3 Focus on Your Child’s Strengths
Kids with ADHD tend to hear far more corrections than compliments, particularly compared to their neurotypical peers.
Research suggests that children with ADHD receive significantly more negative feedback than their neurotypical peers, which can contribute to lower self-esteem, anxiety, and increased sensitivity to criticism. Many also experience Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), making perceived criticism feel especially painful.
Many individuals with ADHD trend toward a number of unique strengths in comparison to their neurotypical peers, including:
Creativity
Curiosity
Humor
Empathy
Passion
Resilience
Innovation
Problem-solving
Entrepreneurial thinking
Adventurousness
High energy
Persistence
Every child is unique, and these strengths often get to shine when kids are supported and recognized for who they are.
A good rule of thumb for parents is the 5:1 ratio, aiming for five positive interactions for every one constructive feedback. The result will be a more confident, competent, and receptive child in all areas.
ADHD is More than a Diagnosis
ADHD can absolutely create challenges and is a disability in environments built around neurotypical expectations. However, many adults with ADHD become innovators, entrepreneurs, artists, leaders, and compassionate helpers because of the unique ways they think.
Take this analogy: In a bee colony, most worker bees repeatedly travel the same route between the hive and flowers. Alongside them, there are several scout bees who venture off into new territories to discover new food sources for the colony. Their willingness to think differently is ultimately necessary for the survival of the entire hive. You may have a scout bee on your hands!
With understanding, support, and encouragement, kids with ADHD can learn to celebrate their differences and thrive as capable future adults.
Have additional questions on how to support your child with ADHD? Could your child use a place to develop self-understanding and self-esteem? Think you could benefit from some parenting support?
Reach out to the Wellness Collective for a free 15-min consult.
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About the Author
Michelle creates a warm, collaborative, and nonjudgmental space where clients can safely explore their emotions, identity, and personal growth. Her approach is rooted in authenticity, respect, and a sense of humor, helping clients feel supported throughout the therapeutic process.
She earned her Master’s degree from California State University, Northridge, and previously received dual bachelor’s degrees in Psychology and Communication from the University of California, Santa Barbara. Before becoming a therapist, Michelle worked in advertising in Los Angeles and then followed her passion for mental health. Outside of work, she enjoys spending time with loved ones, dog sitting, dancing at music festivals, and baking.
At The Wellness Collective, Michelle provides in-person sessions in Hermosa Beach and virtual sessions for clients across California.
Ready to explore whether therapy is right for you?
Visit michelleparkertherapy.com or call (310) 896-8644 to book a free consultation.
