The Problem with "Special"

🌟Weekly Inspiration🌟

Each person is unique…every person has value…each child has wonderful strengths and gifts. We can agree that this is established.

Our parenting generation has focused on praise, recognizing/maximizing attributes, and voicing how “special” we believe our children to be. Some parents believe their children are SO smart, musical, or athletic. Some parents believe their children are excellent at everything (or should be) and sign them up to participate in way too many activities. The reality is that very few children are actually “special” in these outlier ways. It is rare to be extremely gifted in a specific way. Outlier geniuses often have histories of abuse or neglect that propelled them/saved them in their pursuits. The reality is that most of are raising extraordinary ordinary children. The reality is that most of us are extraordinary ordinary adults as well. Let that sink in!

“Special” = Pressure to kids

There are too many young children today worried about their future. There are too many children burnt out and they haven’t even gotten started on their adult life. There are too many young adults paralyzed to take a step forward due to fear of failure. Some of these kids have been told how special they are, all of their lives. That can feel heavy, suffocating, daunting.

Ask Yourself:

Do I think my children are special? Do I tell them as much?
Do I think I’m special?
Does believing that my children are “special” make me feel better about myself? Might it add undue pressure to them?
What if we normalized struggle?
What if we stopped rolling out the red carpet for our child at every turn?
Is there anything wrong with leading an ordinary life?
Are my favorite role models ordinary? Ordinary in the most magical of ways?
Am I humble? Are my children?

Be well. Happy Birthday America! Enjoy your 4th of July.