Rediscovering Your Marriage (Or Yourself) at Midlife

🌟Weekly Inspiration🌟

Monthly Theme: Finding Meaning and Purpose Beyond Parenthood

For couples: Remember when it was just the two of you? What it was like to have time and energy for each other, and a whole weekend stretched out in front of you with very little on the calendar? Before all the adult responsibilities: kids, mortgages, peak career growth, and a color-coded calendar of activities? And then suddenly, almost overnight it seems, the kids are off with their friends, driving themselves, doing homework in their rooms or off at practice—and you are staring at just each other over dinner again almost every night? Thinking: It's you again. Who are we now?

For divorced or single parents: You may have been solo or single parenting for years… or you might be right in the middle of a messy transition as your kids start gaining more independence, which adds a whole new layer of grief and loss. The question is the same: who are you outside of being a parent?

Marriage is hard. Divorce is hard. Raising kids is hard. Figuring out who you are at midlife is hard. Renegotiating your relationship to yourself and your partner is hard. Starting over with a new partner is hard.

A little thoughtful reflection, intention, and communication can go a long way toward making these things more navigable. It may feel like you are in this emotional parenting and midlife journey alone, but you are not. You are in good company. It's time to begin thinking about these things before kids are late teenagers and flying the nest. It's important to invest in yourself and your relationships along the way—and not be so child-centered that you have lost touch with your friendships, spouse, and professional dreams. Child-centered at the cost of everything else doesn't actually help marriages… and it feels like loads of pressure to kids.

Ask Yourself:

Am I excited for more freedom and connection with my partner as my children get older? If not, why?
How can I bring compassion to myself at midlife?
What relationships do I want to nourish?
When do I have conversations that are not about my children or their logistics?
How am I building a life for myself and not just my children?
What hobbies or interests did I put on hold when I became a parent?
Am I afraid of what I'll discover about myself or my relationship when the kids aren't the main focus?

Be Well. ❤️