There Is No One Right Answer

May 4

**🌟Weekly Inspiration🌟**

Monthly Theme: It's Their Journey, Not Ours

We set our kids up for major disappointment when we believe that only one high school, college, or career path is acceptable. There is no "perfect fit." There is no single "dream school" for any kid.

We need to manage expectations — our kids' and our own. The message we want to send is that our child would thrive in any school where they felt engaged and showed up fully. Research supports this: kids do well at a huge range of schools when they're genuinely invested. There is not one path to thriving, and sending that message — that there's only one right answer — is actually harmful. Some kids prefer a trade school or community college to start, and that should be treated as a great choice, not a consolation prize.

Sometimes kids are optimizing for the wrong things. Sometimes parents are too — the party scene, Greek life, social status, or the name on the sweatshirt. And sometimes kids get into their "dream school" and find that none of those things fall into place the way they imagined. I hear a lot of this chatter — as a therapist and as the mother of a 12th grader. Colleges are places to learn, grow, gain independence, explore interests and strengths, and build friendships. It's worth asking: what kind of learner is your child, and what environment will actually help them grow?

It could sound like this:

Honey, you would thrive at many schools. Stay flexible.
Every path has pros and cons — let's weigh them together.
Take a variety of classes and see what you feel drawn toward.
There is no single road to a good life.
You can make friends and find your people at any college.
Sometimes we hear no — and learning to pivot is part of growing up.

Parents, let's also zoom out for a moment. In a global context, the vast majority of the world's young people will never have the choice your child is making right now. That's not meant to minimize the stress of this season — it's meant to offer some grounding. We are extraordinarily lucky, and it's worth holding onto that.

Ask Yourself:

Do I believe there is only one right school for my child? Was there only one right path for me?
If I didn't attend college, did I still find a path that was meaningful and led to success?
How can I bring more flexibility and positivity to this process?
How can I gently challenge my child's rigid thinking?
Am I optimizing for the wrong things? Are my kids?
How can I continue to ground myself when the pressure feels loud?

Be Well. ❤️