They Will Thrive

🌟Weekly Inspiration🌟

Let's start with the idea that the vast majority of kids are resilient and will thrive, no matter which high school they go to, which college they attend, or what career they land in. Most youth arc towards resilience, even when adolescence may have been difficult. Even kids who have truly challenging things to cope with (addiction tendencies, coming out as gay, being in foster care, being bullied, learning challenges) generally get through it with love and support. Over the years, people often comment to me about how hard it must be to be a therapist, how it must be heavy work. It is challenging at times to be a therapist, and sometimes we do take the stress home with us, but overall, I feel optimistic and bullish on humanity…because I see resilience and strength every day in the clients that we serve ❤️.

As we consider the college application process (or just the process of growing up in general), it is helpful to instill the message to your child that you believe they would thrive at many schools, in many different extracurriculars/hobbies, in many different locales, and in many different professions. Isn't that true for you, could you have envisioned a different life in some way where you also would have thrived, found meaning, or been satisfied? Sometimes I feel like kids get pigeonholed, they have this idea of the "perfect" college (doesn't exist), the "perfect" partner (doesn't exist), or the "perfect job" (doesn't exist). Yes, let's have some goals and expectations for ourselves and our children in these ways, but let's build in flexibility and a "can do" mindset when they hit a bump in the road. Sometimes our expectations for them or their expectations for themselves set them up for failure and disappointment.

Ask Yourself:

Could I have thrived at different colleges?
Did I feel pressure that I had to get into one perfect school?
When I had challenges, did I eventually figure it out? What helped me?
How fearful am I around my child's college application process?
Do I have a narrow focus for my child or a broad one?
Am I hopeful and optimistic in temperament? Could I shift slightly in that direction? How might that affect my family?
Do I have a lot of regret?
Am I doing too much orchestrating in their lives?
Am I weighing in too heavily on their potential majors?

Be well!